I’m just a Backwoods Dolly…just asking for a chance!

Today when I was getting my nails done for the first time in three years, I remarked to Ava, the beautiful Vietnamese manicurist, that I was restoring my inner Dolly! I was thrilled she understood the reference! 

Dolly Parton has been a fixture of my entire life. From as far back as I remember, my beautiful mama loved her music, so it often played where music was playing by her choice. Dolly was on television a lot. Now, I’m a Gen X brat. I was raised by the television. Today, parents worry about kids having too much screen time. I don’t think they realize how much influence that much television had on us. But I need to put a pin in that bubble because it’s going to be a much longer thought. More soon.  Indeed, I’m listening to a Dolly playlist that is generating so many post ideas, I’m about to run out of tabs! 

Dolly was on about every variety show, talk show, or radio station I absorbed. She was on every tabloid magazine displayed in parents’ little country grocery store. I grew up watching Dolly be publicly unapologetic about her self-described trashy makeup and big boobs — and her weight and plastic surgery.

I watched Dolly’s weight go up and down. I watched her nip and tuck. Though we all – at least those of us who are empaths – knew it had to be a painful struggle, she laughed and made jokes at her own expense before anyone else could. She handled it all with grace. And then she openly and selflessly showed us her heart and pain through her music.

I remember her on some talk show when I was a kid. She talked about the woman in her home town whose sense of style she dreamed of adopting despite her mama calling it trashy. At that point in my life, I saw myself. 

Dolly’s music got me through some of the toughest periods of my life. It filled me with inspiration when I needed it most. I’m sure that’s why God speaks to me in Dolly’s voice. It’s a beautiful thing!

I watched her variety show every Saturday night at my grandma’s house. It didn’t matter if it was even a rerun! I’ve seen every one of her movies. I don’t think there’s a situation in life I couldn’t find a Dolly Parton song to compare it to! Jolene is even my go-to karaoke song!

As I sit in at this keyboard, gushing all this love for Dolly, I have a confession to make. It may be the among the Top 10 Ways I’ve Cheated My Life! You see, of the hundreds of performers I’ve been blessed to see live in concert – Dolly isn’t one of them! I think I just discovered a real “must do” bucket list item! For pity sake we all nearly had a heart attack just last week. Pewwww. Pewwwwww. I am much closer to Las Vegas now…. Hmmmmm. I see a road trip in my future! Get well Dolly, I’m comin’! Yer on me bucket list now!

Anyway, I wanted to be like Dolly! BUT, the stork got lost and dropped this little bundle of sparkles into a little shitsplat in the middle of Kansas in the 1960s — population, about 6000 during my unfortunate incarceration. (If you got that reference, you’re Spicy and I must know you!) You know, it used to freak me out that I was born in the 60s, but now I feel really blessed. I have truly experienced an colorful and eventful life.

So, growing up, as you’d expect — and it wouldn’t be different now — I was expected to present as a “boy”, so I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be Dolly. And, for the most part, on reflection, I realize when I was young my beautiful mama and my pretty redneck daddy were really pretty great about the fact that I was a girlie-boy. I liked to wear mama’s heels around the house. I went in female costumes on Halloween. I played in mama’s make-up. If she didn’t know she’s more oblivious about her facial products than her offspring. My daddy even bought me this fantastic pair of knee-high leather lace up boots with a 2” heel that I had been badgering him to let me own. Again, I’m NOT sure if he noticed they were in the girls section when we bought them or just didn’t care. Either way, I was elated. I LOVED THOSE BOOTS! I Second in line were the blue suede wedgie shoes he also let me buy! Coincidentally, the memory of those boots brings back the memory of the very first time I realized the world hated boys who acted like girls and the first time that I recall my mama expressed transphobia onto me. Of course nobody called it that then. It wasn’t a thing. But that’s another story.

In 2008, Dolly released the Backwoods Barbie record. I wore that record OUT! Ok, you’re right, it was on my iPod! Geesh.

The title song, which Dolly calls autobiographical, resonated with me the first time I heard it. I thought to myself, “self”, if I ever find myself singing this song, I’m changing the lyrics to “Backwoods Dolly”. She wrote those words about herself, but I’m her mirror and God speaks to me in her voice! Hey, maybe she’ll sing it with me in Vegas! I got to sing with Patti LaBelle. With God all things are possible! Manifest. Manifest. Manifest.

I was going to post the video of Backwoods Barbie when God decided to bless me with a song I hadn’t yet heard via my Alexa Dolly playlist. (RESISTENCE IS FUTILE!) It’s such a total embodiment off Dolly. Powerful Woman. A woman who embraces all people and all walks of life. She helps kids read. The woman is a PHENOMENON! No wonder I wanted to grew up wanting to emulate her…trashy looks, long nails, big hair and all. I’m opting out on the big boobs. At least its not on the agenda at this point in my journey. But, I never say never anymore. It’s backfired too many times.

Now ya know, I’m just a Backwoods Dolly, askin’ for a chance! Enjoy the tune and don’t forget to dance today!

Be a blessing y’all!

Chill! Pepper Gee

🌶️❣️👠